Bonkarfpog is a god.

It takes the form of a gargantuan, boastful penguin.

Bonkarfpog created a photon six billion years ago.

If you believe in Bonkarfpog, it will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Bonkarfpog, it will turn you into a puffin.

Bonkarfpog's most sacred site is Evol in France.

Bonkarfpog's Holy Commandments

1. Capybaras are unholy and should not be approached.

2. You must never eat garlic.

3. Put Bonkarfpog first in all things.

4. Always obey Bonkarfpog's priests.

5. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.