Fagbumfat is a god.

She takes the form of a nine hundred metre long, merciless mink.

Fagbumfat created the universe five million years ago.

If you believe in Fagbumfat, she will not care.

If you do not believe in Fagbumfat, she will destroy your favourite dwarf planet.

Fagbumfat's most sacred site is Auvillar in France.

Fagbumfat's Holy Commandments

1. Do not chop down trees.

2. Never talk about horses.

3. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

4. Never paint your feet white.

5. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.