Cubmut is a god.

It takes the form of a large, thoughtless meerkat.

Cubmut created water five trillion years ago.

If you believe in Cubmut, it will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Cubmut, it will attempt to scare you with earthquakes.

Cubmut's most sacred site is Bogogobo in Botswana.

Cubmut's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about great tits.

2. Your children must be taught to worship Cubmut.

3. Retreat if three eagles approach from the south.

4. Do not cook food in pots.

5. You must love Cubmut.