Fagorttonkkem is a god.

It takes the form of a very large, awesome fairy.

Fagorttonkkem created Mount Everest nine thousand years ago.

If you believe in Fagorttonkkem, it will make you lucky.

If you do not believe in Fagorttonkkem, it will turn you into a hamster.

Fagorttonkkem's most sacred site is Brechfa in Wales.

Fagorttonkkem's Holy Commandments

1. Do not covet oxen.

2. Do not listen to music.

3. Do not drink from vessels made of titanium.

4. Hide if six goats approach from the north.

5. Do not eat rice.