Badcutfon is a god.

He takes the form of a very fat, deceitful skunk.

Badcutfon created a quark five quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Badcutfon, he will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Badcutfon, he will have a very low opinion of you.

Badcutfon's most sacred site is Cusihuiriachi in Mexico.

Badcutfon's Holy Commandments

1. Never wear corsets.

2. Always help whales.

3. Your children must be taught to worship Badcutfon.

4. Never talk about seals.

5. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.