Xucfligpiddonpanbegpag is a god.

She takes the form of a large, all-knowing coyote.

Xucfligpiddonpanbegpag created Africa two billion years ago.

If you believe in Xucfligpiddonpanbegpag, she will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Xucfligpiddonpanbegpag, she will send four elephants to rub you out.

Xucfligpiddonpanbegpag's most sacred site is Demsin in Germany.

Xucfligpiddonpanbegpag's Holy Commandments

1. Do not speak about peas.

2. Show mercy to disobedient children.

3. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

4. Never paint your hands white.

5. Do not eat turnips.