Kabxucksan is a god.

She takes the form of a small, smart aardvark.

Kabxucksan created the planet Jupiter eight thousand years ago.

If you believe in Kabxucksan, she will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Kabxucksan, she will curse you and those you beget for all time.

Kabxucksan's most sacred site is Burras in England.

Kabxucksan's Holy Commandments

1. Do not chop down trees.

2. Never talk about cell theory.

3. Do not eat bread.

4. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

5. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.