Cimquartvagbut is a god.

She takes the form of a planet-sized, all-powerful slug.

Cimquartvagbut created a photon eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Cimquartvagbut, she will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Cimquartvagbut, she will cry a lot.

Cimquartvagbut's most sacred site is Issigeac in France.

Cimquartvagbut's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink water in brown rooms.

2. Do not drink from vessels made of platinum.

3. Always make a point of helping unfortunate goats.

4. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

5. You must pray to Cimquartvagbut five times a day.