Appfubtin is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely small, compassionate eagle.

Appfubtin created a bottom quark eighteen thousand years ago.

If you believe in Appfubtin, he will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Appfubtin, he will turn you into a sparrow.

Appfubtin's most sacred site is Amrit in Egypt.

Appfubtin's Holy Commandments

1. Do not speak about pineapples.

2. Feed all hungry whales.

3. Do not eat bananas.

4. Do not cook food in pots.

5. Always treat birds with great respect.