Flabtalbast is a god.

She takes the form of a seven hundred metre long, unthoughtful dugong.

Flabtalbast created vertebrates five thousand years ago.

If you believe in Flabtalbast, she will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Flabtalbast, she will turn you into a slug.

Flabtalbast's most sacred site is Cudillero in Spain.

Flabtalbast's Holy Commandments

1. Never hurt squirrels.

2. Do not fashion models of living things.

3. Show mercy to disobedient children.

4. Fast once a month.

5. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.