Nullmonortbad is a god.

It takes the form of a small, unthinking shrew.

Nullmonortbad created a top quark seven million years ago.

If you believe in Nullmonortbad, it will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Nullmonortbad, it will curse you and those you beget for fifty two trillion years.

Nullmonortbad's most sacred site is Pontelandolfo in Italy.

Nullmonortbad's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about hamsters.

2. Always pray in complete darkness.

3. Do not hurt gulls.

4. Never wear boots.

5. Do not chop down trees.