Komjanhom is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely large, grumpy hyena.

Komjanhom created humankind two billion years ago.

If you believe in Komjanhom, it will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Komjanhom, it will send two she bears to sort you out.

Komjanhom's most sacred site is Pontelandolfo in Italy.

Komjanhom's Holy Commandments

1. Always wear magenta.

2. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Komjanhom.

3. Look mercifully on unfortunate nematodes.

4. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

5. Do not commit murder.