Baptimzan is a god.

She takes the form of a large, witty badger.

Baptimzan created the planet Jupiter two quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Baptimzan, she will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Baptimzan, she will attempt to scare you with strong winds.

Baptimzan's most sacred site is Goldcliff in Wales.

Baptimzan's Holy Commandments

1. You must love Baptimzan.

2. Never talk about fire.

3. Never wear shoes.

4. Do not listen to music.

5. Do not take Baptimzan's name in vain.