Flowfarnbest is a god.

She takes the form of a very long, narcissistic porpoise.

Flowfarnbest created a quark seven billion years ago.

If you believe in Flowfarnbest, she will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Flowfarnbest, she will destroy your favourite dwarf planet.

Flowfarnbest's most sacred site is Aimala in Finland.

Flowfarnbest's Holy Commandments

1. Do not wear silicon on your body.

2. Show mercy to disobedient children.

3. Flowfarnbest loves swans, so they must be respected.

4. Never look in ponds.

5. Never write about nebulae.