Futjopbiss is a god.

She takes the form of a three hundred metre long, thoughtless scorpion.

Futjopbiss created the Sol system four billion years ago.

If you believe in Futjopbiss, she will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Futjopbiss, she will turn you into a puffin.

Futjopbiss' most sacred site is Romlund in Denmark.

Futjopbiss' Holy Commandments

1. Birds are unholy and should not be approached.

2. Do not take Futjopbiss' name in vain.

3. Run away from mauve dolphins, for they are unholy.

4. Worship no other gods but Futjopbiss.

5. Mites are not to be trusted.