Godquaf is a god.

He takes the form of a chunky, sapient hamster.

Godquaf created Africa six million years ago.

If you believe in Godquaf, he will celebrate by creating some nebulas.

If you do not believe in Godquaf, he will hide angry queen hornets in your dwelling place.

Godquaf's most sacred site is Hoddom in Scotland.

Godquaf's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat spinach.

2. Run away if three foxes approach from the east.

3. You must never eat garlic.

4. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

5. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.