Vabbessmon is a god.

It takes the form of an exceedingly fat, almighty hedgehog.

Vabbessmon created a photon nine thousand years ago.

If you believe in Vabbessmon, it will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Vabbessmon, it will send minions to preach to you.

Vabbessmon's most sacred site is Glastonbury Tor in England.

Vabbessmon's Holy Commandments

1. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

2. Never talk about stars.

3. Tapirs are not to be trusted.

4. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

5. Never eat onions.