Vanpigfumyass is a god.

She takes the form of a galaxy-sized, omnipotent bear.

Vanpigfumyass created the Whirlpool Galaxy nine million years ago.

If you believe in Vanpigfumyass, she will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Vanpigfumyass, she will turn you into a dog.

Vanpigfumyass' most sacred site is Skive in Denmark.

Vanpigfumyass' Holy Commandments

1. Do not covet oxen.

2. Always look after injured badgers.

3. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

4. Never sing in the presence of cats.

5. Never think about the strong nuclear force.