Bifgemcut is a god.

She takes the form of a six hundred metre long, unjust grasshopper.

Bifgemcut created a top quark two million years ago.

If you believe in Bifgemcut, she will celebrate by creating some galaxies.

If you do not believe in Bifgemcut, she will attempt to scare you with hail.

Bifgemcut's most sacred site is Goat's Hole Cave in England.

Bifgemcut's Holy Commandments

1. Show mercy to disobedient children.

2. Do not fashion models of living things.

3. Do not drink alcohol.

4. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

5. Do not trade with those who eat wheat.