Logabjin is a god.

She takes the form of a very large, resourceful octopus.

Logabjin created the solar system nine million years ago.

If you believe in Logabjin, she will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Logabjin, she will send twenty two thousand, three hundred, and seventy eight badgers to sort you out.

Logabjin's most sacred site is Gassin in France.

Logabjin's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink from vessels made of lead.

2. Always make a point of helping unfortunate mites.

3. Never write about the strong nuclear force.

4. Never play with disobedient children.

5. Never eat bark.