Fem is a god.

He takes the form of a slim, amazing seal.

Fem created the Large Magellanic Cloud seven thousand years ago.

If you believe in Fem, he will celebrate by creating some nebulas.

If you do not believe in Fem, he will laugh at you.

Fem's most sacred site is Acanceh in Mexico.

Fem's Holy Commandments

1. Do not wear platinum on your body.

2. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

3. You must pray to Fem four times a day.

4. Seals are unholy and should not be approached.

5. Never eat bark.