Gutwikgeb is a god.

It takes the form of a rotund, dishonest goose.

Gutwikgeb created the Milkyway eight quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Gutwikgeb, it will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Gutwikgeb, it will turn you into a mouse.

Gutwikgeb's most sacred site is Rutalahti in Finland.

Gutwikgeb's Holy Commandments

1. Never mention otters.

2. Do not chop down trees.

3. Do not kill mites.

4. Do not stand on grass.

5. Walk at least six thousand metres per day.