Cepstannill is a god.

He takes the form of a very fat, almighty goat.

Cepstannill created a Higgs boson nine million years ago.

If you believe in Cepstannill, he will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Cepstannill, he will turn you into a giant slug.

Cepstannill's most sacred site is Rautio in Finland.

Cepstannill's Holy Commandments

1. Never hurt sheep.

2. Always wear orange.

3. Do not wear blue clothing.

4. Do not run in public.

5. Do not commit murder.