Ditzigcapster Tingepnut is a god.

She takes the form of a slim, self-assured coyote.

Ditzigcapster Tingepnut created the planet Saturn eight quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Ditzigcapster Tingepnut, she will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Ditzigcapster Tingepnut, she will have an extremely low opinion of you.

Ditzigcapster Tingepnut's most sacred site is Goat's Hole Cave in England.

Ditzigcapster Tingepnut's Holy Commandments

1. Walk at least six thousand metres per day.

2. Ditzigcapster Tingepnut loves ants, so they must be respected.

3. Whales are not to be trusted.

4. Respect your elders.

5. Never look in ponds.