Bidominnilmat is a god.

It takes the form of a massive, generous donkey.

Bidominnilmat created gold eight million years ago.

If you believe in Bidominnilmat, it will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Bidominnilmat, it will refuse to believe in you.

Bidominnilmat's most sacred site is Oppin in Germany.

Bidominnilmat's Holy Commandments

1. Erect five iron sculptures of Bidominnilmat on top of important buildings.

2. Never wear rings.

3. Always make a point of helping unfortunate doves.

4. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

5. Do not wear turquoise clothing.