Catsinran is a god.

He takes the form of a three thousand metre long, slow snail.

Catsinran created the Large Magellanic Cloud eighteen thousand years ago.

If you believe in Catsinran, he will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Catsinran, he will curse you and those you beget for fifty two trillion years.

Catsinran's most sacred site is Iona in Scotland.

Catsinran's Holy Commandments

1. Always treat ants with great respect.

2. Do not stand on grass.

3. Do not covet oxen.

4. Never wear black shoes.

5. Never think about the strong nuclear force.