Linganpon is a god.

He takes the form of a giant, self-assured ferret.

Linganpon created a bottom quark three quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Linganpon, he will celebrate by creating some galaxies.

If you do not believe in Linganpon, he will turn you into a rock.

Linganpon's most sacred site is Xaaga in Mexico.

Linganpon's Holy Commandments

1. Erect a large nickel sculpture of Linganpon on top of all buildings.

2. Goats are unholy and should not be approached.

3. Do not hurt mice.

4. Do not drink alcohol.

5. Do not wear violet clothing.