Midquimlarp is a god.

She takes the form of a giant, duplicitous walrus.

Midquimlarp created the Large Magellanic Cloud five trillion years ago.

If you believe in Midquimlarp, she will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Midquimlarp, she will curse you and those you beget for twenty six billion years.

Midquimlarp's most sacred site is Mogonono in Botswana.

Midquimlarp's Holy Commandments

1. Do not wear gray clothing.

2. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

3. Do not dye your hair mauve.

4. Never talk about the weak nuclear force.

5. Respect your elders.