Laklaktin is a god.

He takes the form of a microscopic, smart manatee.

Laklaktin created the Milkyway five million years ago.

If you believe in Laklaktin, he will celebrate by creating some planets.

If you do not believe in Laklaktin, he will destroy your favourite planet.

Laklaktin's most sacred site is Zlatolist in Bulgaria.

Laklaktin's Holy Commandments

1. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

2. Do not cook food in pots.

3. Never think about amino acids.

4. Worship no other gods but Laklaktin.

5. Do not drink from vessels made of aluminium.