Hakzognab is a god.

He takes the form of a very long, humorless mouse.

Hakzognab created gold three billion years ago.

If you believe in Hakzognab, he will celebrate by creating some universes.

If you do not believe in Hakzognab, he will jump up and down fuming with rage.

Hakzognab's most sacred site is Brechfa in Wales.

Hakzognab's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about the weak nuclear force.

2. Do not shave your back.

3. Always help rats.

4. Do not covet oxen.

5. Do not dye your hair pink.