Flowcanbot is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely thin, pitiless squid.

Flowcanbot created the cosmos three million years ago.

If you believe in Flowcanbot, it will celebrate by creating some galaxies.

If you do not believe in Flowcanbot, it will curse you and those you beget for fifty two trillion years.

Flowcanbot's most sacred site is Rutalahti in Finland.

Flowcanbot's Holy Commandments

1. Never laugh in the presence of gulls.

2. Hide from pink monkeys for they are unholy.

3. Never write about cell theory.

4. Never wear dresses.

5. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.