Kopfenteen is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely heavy, confident skunk.

Kopfenteen created matter three quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Kopfenteen, she will look after your home planet.

If you do not believe in Kopfenteen, she will destroy your home planet.

Kopfenteen's most sacred site is Goat's Hole Cave in England.

Kopfenteen's Holy Commandments

1. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

2. Do not eat onions.

3. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

4. Do not run in public.

5. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.