Bestnulmobfen is a god.

He takes the form of a six hundred metre long, pitiless tapir.

Bestnulmobfen created Africa two thousand years ago.

If you believe in Bestnulmobfen, he will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Bestnulmobfen, he will curse you and those you beget for all time.

Bestnulmobfen's most sacred site is Xtul in Mexico.

Bestnulmobfen's Holy Commandments

1. Never wear green corsets.

2. Feed all hungry great tits.

3. Pray towards the west.

4. Always help sick dogs.

5. Erect a large copper sculpture of Bestnulmobfen on top of all buildings.