Gofbabquam is a god.

She takes the form of a rotund, effective bird.

Gofbabquam created Africa two billion years ago.

If you believe in Gofbabquam, she will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Gofbabquam, she will torture you forever.

Gofbabquam's most sacred site is Yongding in China.

Gofbabquam's Holy Commandments

1. Do not kill mice.

2. Put Gofbabquam first in all things.

3. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

4. Always stare at clouds.

5. Never feed parsnips to great tits while wearing red corsets.