Bestwikstrag is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely fat, able jaguar.

Bestwikstrag created a strange quark nine trillion years ago.

If you believe in Bestwikstrag, it will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Bestwikstrag, it will destroy your favourite galaxy.

Bestwikstrag's most sacred site is Denshawai in Egypt.

Bestwikstrag's Holy Commandments

1. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

2. Always make sure there are no aardvarks in a room before entering it.

3. Never run in holy places.

4. Never bounce in the presence of eagles.

5. Do not drink water in fawn rooms.