Stanvenwonomtwig is a god.

She takes the form of a five thousand metre long, happy dingo.

Stanvenwonomtwig created dark matter six quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Stanvenwonomtwig, she will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Stanvenwonomtwig, she will destroy your home solar system.

Stanvenwonomtwig's most sacred site is Daren in Wales.

Stanvenwonomtwig's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

2. Always stare at clouds.

3. Do not chop down trees.

4. Walk at least eight thousand metres per day.

5. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.