Didlagceb is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely fat, self-assured walrus.

Didlagceb created a bottom quark six billion years ago.

If you believe in Didlagceb, he will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Didlagceb, he will think nothing of it.

Didlagceb's most sacred site is Manakuppam in India.

Didlagceb's Holy Commandments

1. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

2. Never eat bark.

3. Hide if eight birds approach from the south.

4. Never feed carrots to aardvarks while wearing pink stockings.

5. Never talk about fire.