Fomtarpham is a god.

She takes the form of a fat, charitable camel.

Fomtarpham created gold five million years ago.

If you believe in Fomtarpham, she will celebrate by creating some universes.

If you do not believe in Fomtarpham, she will hide angry queen hornets in your dwelling place.

Fomtarpham's most sacred site is Manja in Madagascar.

Fomtarpham's Holy Commandments

1. Never wear gray trousers.

2. Do not take Fomtarpham's name in vain.

3. Show mercy to disobedient children.

4. Never go into mauve rooms.

5. Fast once a month.