Barnflabmat is a god.

She takes the form of an enormous, merciful dove.

Barnflabmat created the cosmos three thousand years ago.

If you believe in Barnflabmat, she will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Barnflabmat, she will denounce you as a heretic.

Barnflabmat's most sacred site is Poloka in Botswana.

Barnflabmat's Holy Commandments

1. Do not covet oxen.

2. Porpoises are not to be trusted.

3. Never talk about gravity.

4. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

5. Do not jump in public.