Camwipflig is a god.

She takes the form of an eight hundred metre long, intelligent crab.

Camwipflig created the Black Eye Galaxy seven million years ago.

If you believe in Camwipflig, she will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Camwipflig, she will send four elderly elephants to rub you out.

Camwipflig's most sacred site is Nanjie in China.

Camwipflig's Holy Commandments

1. Do not make images of living things.

2. Never think ill of sick seals.

3. Never think about comets.

4. Never paint your back mauve.

5. Do not listen to heathen tongues.