Vinkimtompad is a god.

He takes the form of a thin, blissful salamander.

Vinkimtompad created time and space three million years ago.

If you believe in Vinkimtompad, he will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Vinkimtompad, he will turn you into a goat.

Vinkimtompad's most sacred site is Vambupet in India.

Vinkimtompad's Holy Commandments

1. Walk at least five thousand metres per day.

2. Never paint your chest green.

3. Never eat green fruit.

4. Worship no other gods but Vinkimtompad.

5. Always make sure there are no whales in a room before entering it.