Tenmeg Yarlbapcuss is a god.

It takes the form of a huge, two-faced ferret.

Tenmeg Yarlbapcuss created the planet Mars three quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Tenmeg Yarlbapcuss, it will approve.

If you do not believe in Tenmeg Yarlbapcuss, it will turn you into a dog.

Tenmeg Yarlbapcuss' most sacred site is Turckheim in France.

Tenmeg Yarlbapcuss' Holy Commandments

1. Put Tenmeg Yarlbapcuss first in all things.

2. Walk at least three thousand metres per day.

3. Always obey Tenmeg Yarlbapcuss' priests.

4. Nematodes are unholy and should not be approached.

5. Do not eat spinach.