Gofpadhascud is a god.

She takes the form of an eight thousand metre long, egotistical bat.

Gofpadhascud created a quark three trillion years ago.

If you believe in Gofpadhascud, she will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Gofpadhascud, she will destroy your home galaxy.

Gofpadhascud's most sacred site is Basalorum in Sweden.

Gofpadhascud's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about fire.

2. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

3. Do not drink alcohol.

4. Always help sick whales.

5. Do not chop down trees.