Fetjatfun is a god.

He takes the form of a six hundred metre long, irritating eagle.

Fetjatfun created the planet Saturn eight million years ago.

If you believe in Fetjatfun, he will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Fetjatfun, he will turn you into an amoeba.

Fetjatfun's most sacred site is Vandet in Denmark.

Fetjatfun's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink water in gray rooms.

2. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

3. Do not commit murder.

4. Never think about the strong nuclear force.

5. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.