Kikpigfud is a god.

She takes the form of a blubbery, selfish salamander.

Kikpigfud created parasitic wasps nine quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Kikpigfud, she will give you the power of flight.

If you do not believe in Kikpigfud, she will turn you into a dog.

Kikpigfud's most sacred site is Rutalahti in Finland.

Kikpigfud's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink alcohol.

2. Never write about amino acids.

3. Do not cook food in pots.

4. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

5. Always pray in complete darkness.