Wapnarldav is a god.

It takes the form of a thin, tiresome aardvark.

Wapnarldav created the Black Eye Galaxy eight million years ago.

If you believe in Wapnarldav, it will make you lucky.

If you do not believe in Wapnarldav, it will turn you into a tree.

Wapnarldav's most sacred site is Bogogobo in Botswana.

Wapnarldav's Holy Commandments

1. Always make sure there are no dogs in a room before entering it.

2. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

3. Erect eight aluminium sculptures of Wapnarldav on top of important buildings.

4. Fast once a month.

5. Never eat gooseberries.