Fonquillpan is a god.

It takes the form of a four hundred metre long, vain bird.

Fonquillpan created Asia three thousand years ago.

If you believe in Fonquillpan, it will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Fonquillpan, it will send four elephants to rub you out.

Fonquillpan's most sacred site is Pialeia in Greece.

Fonquillpan's Holy Commandments

1. Put Fonquillpan first in all things.

2. Never talk about frogs.

3. Do not drink from vessels made of zinc.

4. Always look after injured capybaras.

5. Do not stand on grass.