Sawab is a god.

He takes the form of a huge, unfair manatee.

Sawab created the planet Saturn three billion years ago.

If you believe in Sawab, he will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Sawab, he will send five hundred and sixty eight geese to peck you to death.

Sawab's most sacred site is Glastonbury Tor in England.

Sawab's Holy Commandments

1. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

2. You must pray to Sawab three times a day.

3. Never play with disobedient children.

4. Never hurt pigs.

5. Always obey Sawab's priests.