Kinloopgar is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely heavy, passionate goblin.

Kinloopgar created the Small Magellanic Cloud eight million years ago.

If you believe in Kinloopgar, she will celebrate by creating some nebulas.

If you do not believe in Kinloopgar, she will curse you and those you beget for twenty six billion years.

Kinloopgar's most sacred site is Glastonbury Tor in England.

Kinloopgar's Holy Commandments

1. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

2. Respect your elders.

3. Do not hurt squirrels.

4. Always pray in complete darkness.

5. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.