Bustailbop is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely heavy, impressive monkey.

Bustailbop created life five billion years ago.

If you believe in Bustailbop, he will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Bustailbop, he will send five hundred and sixty eight geese to peck you to death.

Bustailbop's most sacred site is Cusihuiriachi in Mexico.

Bustailbop's Holy Commandments

1. Always help turtles.

2. Always make sure there are no dolphins in a building before entering it.

3. Do not commit murder.

4. You must pray to Bustailbop four times a day.

5. Do not stand on grass.